Why is it so hard to accept personal responsibility in our learning journey?
I don’t know…we are always blaming things outside ourselves for our problems: the weather, distractions, the time, other people, the horse, you name it. We all do it to a certain degree.
I remember a teacher I very much admire and respect telling me that I was drilling my horse. I responded that I was not drilling the horse, I was practicing for my own ability. He said that the two were the same to the horse, and my efforts to be a goal achieving, driven rider was causing stress to my horse.
I don’t know why that was so hard to swallow. It conflicted immediately with the image I had of myself. Then when I accepted it I felt shame. Then I felt like giving up.
In reality, it’s not that big of a deal – if I just had accepted the information and changed without having to go through the twisted labyrinth that is the human ego, I could have moved along happily.
I’m really glad horses are here to help show us the way to be better people. I’m glad they put up with us while we flounder through life. I think taking criticism gets a little easier – to not ignore it or smash yourself over the head with it is tough, but essential.