The Horses That Stand Out

There are some horses that stand out in my experiences – horses that changed my work, mindset, and even my entire world view.

The memories of these horses are messy, like a bumpy dirt road scattered with potholes and a glorious view. Sometimes you lose sight of the view because you’re too busy navigating the craters that are jarring your fillings out- the pain of frustration and mistakes, taking one steps one day at a time to find yourself at the bottom of the next hole. It’s sometimes only in retrospect the dirt road view is beautiful.

These horses were difficult.
Troubled. Angry. Scared. Violent. Resistant.

They challenged my perception of what training means, they challenged my patience and ultimately they challenged my view of myself. They allowed to come into view the dirt of arrogance, impatience, shame, resentment. People talk about these stories of life changing horses like it was glorious, sitting on a round pen fence patiently waiting, when the reality is a person sitting in the dirt, doing the kind of crying that makes swollen red eyes and snot, all because a horse challenged their perception of who they are and what life is about.

I love these horses and I always will.
Some are still here with me, and some have gone beyond this world to the next.
I cherish them, even when I’m bruised, bloody and tearful, because they make me real, they make me quiet, and they make me me.

One thought on “The Horses That Stand Out

  1. Thank you for this. I am not a trainer, nor do I pretend to be, but my mare did exactly what you describe. I have, on many occasions, despaired of ever working through it. People urged me to sell and I did think about it but I worried about where she’d end up. She forced me to look at myself again and again. I felt all the ugly emotions: anger, resentment, frustration and fear. I cried more than once.
    I would not trade what i have learned and we’re both in a much better place. But man, it was hard.

    Like

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