Let me just start off by saying I do not have it together. This is not a how-to, because I do not know ”how-to” have it together. There’s just too much going on and not enough time in the day.
And I know that it isn’t just me- I know that as a society, we are all over scheduled, over burdened, in debt, overwhelmed, and let’s just say it straight- not doing so hot.
Anyone who looks at someone and thinks they have it all together is only seeing the outer presentation- maybe some of us have more means and support than others, but we all have our own version of “hard,” no two ways about it.
So this is not a how to, but simply my observation and advice when it comes to splitting time between family, work and horses-
1- something has to give. Sorry, but you can’t have it all. Don’t worry about looking perfect- The house might not be perfectly clean, or you wash the laundry again for the third time instead of putting it away in exchange for riding- you decide your priorities with the time allotted you, and cut out what isn’t essential. You might end up cutting more than you wanted- In a survival situation, what’s going in the life boat? You can’t take it all.
2- aim for quality above all. You might not be able to get in a full hours ride at the barn- putting your 100% focus into something basic you can do a great job at is far better than nothing. Let go of the guilt and put in your best with the time you have
3- outsource if you need help – if you can’t get out to ride your horse and you have the means, seek out someone to fill in the spaces you can’t fill. Outsource the bookkeeping, the house cleaning, the stall cleaning, whatever you need or can do. It’s not a failure- nobody can do it all.
4- say no to tasks you can’t manage. If you don’t have time, you don’t have time for people pleasing. I know exactly how easy it is to overfill your books to take care of everyone, but learning to say no to others is saying yes to yourself- you deserve it. Albeit hard, it is a complete life saver. No is a full sentence
5- arm your circle with people who are willing to deal with the “real.” Folks who arent offended by a late reply, know that kids are messy and loud, know that your work is a lot to carry- people that allow you the space to be a full and real person. You’ll feel supported, in good company, and have the space to let down a little if you know you don’t have to put on the act of having it together.