To my student-
I am at times going to give you some information that might hurt you.
I would never want you to hurt intentionally, because I care deeply about you. But, because I know you want growth, I am obligated to tell you what you need to know to grow. I respect you too much to let you go on this way.
I will try to present this as best I can with a tone that can help you hear it, but, I know ultimately it is out of my control how it is received.
I will try to layer in praise, encouragement and everything else a person needs to go forward- but I know it is humans nature to hold on to criticism for dear life.
I know that what can pull you through these times is the relationship of trusting we have- trusting each other. You trust me with your safety, physically and emotionally- I know just how giant a leap one must make to trust someone in that way, and that is very special to me. I trust you to give me your best, to tell me what you need, and to be respectful toward me, too. I’m sharing work that means the world to me, work that is meaningful and beautiful to me, and I trust you to honor it.
You trust that I want you to be the best you can be, and that I respect you enough to tell you this. This information comes to empower you, never to make you feel small. Because I know how strong you are, and what you are capable of.
It is not attached to a judgement. If you are on the wrong path, making a mistake, doing something that just won’t work, it doesn’t make you bad. It just is. I know how painful it can be to hear were doing something wrong, but it doesn’t mean YOURE wrong. I know it’s wrong because I’ve done it – I’ve been there, and I see where it goes.
I’m not better than you, and that’s not the point. I’m someone who has experience and can see what you need, but I’m not speaking from a pedestal. I’m here with you to bring you to where I know you can be.
But this isn’t about me, in the end. It’s you who has to make that leap of faith, to take my words and trust that they’re there for you, not to take away from you. It’s you who has to put in the work of improvement. I can be here waiting in the arena for when you’re ready to do the hard work, but I can’t do it for you.
I’m here, because I know you can do it.
Photo by Melinda Yelvington
A Matter of Balance 